What I've Learned From Romance and Dating

I mean, not that I've really had too much experience with love before, but I have learned a few important lessons that couldn't have been known to me without a little trial and...well, failure. So obviously, I'm perfectly qualified to make a post like this. Right. Anyways, people can teach you a lot about yourself and life in general, so here it goes. First of all, I cannot stress enough how important it is to actually get to know a person without the physical part. There's nothing wrong with touch or physical closeness or anything like that, but for me personally, it really clouds the way you see a person. I've always been a person that loves cuddling and hugs and the like, but this quality in me really hurt my first "relationship", I guess you'd call it. I don't dwell on it, but I do think that I was so focused on feeling loved through touch (especially with feeling unloved, being depressed, and self-harming) that I didn't really care to get to know him better, or at least spend time simply enjoying his presence rather than worrying over a hug or a kiss on the cheek. And he let me just to make me happy, but knowing that made m unhappy, especially since I wanted the other half of the relationship to be satisfied as well. So I screwed it up there, but now we're really close friends, one of the closest, most loyal, best person I've ever gotten to know, and I feel like I enjoy our time together so much more now. I realize how great he is, and even better it is when we do touch. And my second point is, just because you like each other well enough, that doesn't mean you'll be a great couple. In fact, my first "heartbreak" I suppose is the best friend you could ever ask for, but in terms of dating...not so much. And that leads into my third lesson, that you can't change a person or wait for them to change. It's a waste of time. And, if you're really that bothered by a particular quality in a person, then it's not a worthwhile relationship anyways. Everybody has faults, obviously, but some things that people do or say, or don't do or say, can't be ignored. Of course, people will change and move on, but on their own time, and it's definitely going to be hindered by you trying to mend things in a person that they're not ready to fix themselves. And often times it's not quite a fault, but nonetheless, don't try to make someone be something they're not. Fourth of all, life shouldn't be all about having a significant other, but also don't be afraid. I was never really obsessive with anybody, but I've seen it happen to other friends, who simply can't stop thinking of, talking about, talking to, somebody they're in a relationship with or have a crush on. It doesn't make sense. A relationship shouldn't take priority over everything, including all friends, family, and all other activities, including school. I'm not saying love isn't important, but when you put aside everything for that person, it comes off too desperate, but I think some time should still be reserved for that special somebody. However, I also don't get the point of waiting around and longing after somebody, whether before or after a relationship. It just holds you back from what you could be capable of, and I can relate with this statement. But also when in a relationship, don't be afraid to go for it. Do it, don't worry about it. Live freely, because regrets for not doing something eat you alive- well, they do me, at least. I used to be so afraid of crossing a line, that I wouldn't say anything or do anything. I didn't want to make a wrong step. But confidence is the key, and I've learned that since. Another thing I've learned is that, simply, liking somebody, not even loving them makes you stupid, at least a portion of the time. But it can be so worth it, even if everything comes down to reducing it all to a friendship. I might not have much experience, but still. I've learned a lot.